Through Lynnie's Window: Have you ever felt like ...

Monday, November 14, 2016

Have you ever felt like ...

…you fell off the edge of the earth?

No landmarks…
No footprints left in the dust…
No trails…
No sign anywhere that anyone has gone thru this desolate place…
Not even - thankfully - a dinosaur track…
No bloody trail - not as a Brit would use the b word, not as a medical person would use the word, nor as an unsuspecting explorer on the edge of a cliff carefully perusing his environment, but never
looking over the cliff, where he would no doubt find a swiftly climbing animal/aborigene/escaped murderer (and again, noting the absence of such a one with thanks!)

And noting, I confess, it sounds like a 1942 war movie filmed on some deserted island (like Maui) with Bing and Bob…….and if you don't know who this is referring to, I say:WHAT? you never took a basic B&B romp BW movie class or …ahem…WATCHED SOME CLASSIC SHOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN YOU COULDN'T SLEEP?? (or live in a cave waaaaaay more primitive than Maui?????)

OK, deep breath, tirade completed…

…for the moment…

If you are still with me after all that, I apologize, but when you have cabin fever, tirades, for some reason, seem appropriate - after all, people feel like you did fall off the edge of the earth where the sign is. (you know the place - that cozy little map corner that has a sign when that point is reached - any map worth it's salt has this sign - in flavorful script that flashes red when viewed from the correct angle…)

The sign reads :

"BEWARE...

"BEYOND THIS POINT THERE BE DRAGONS!!"

Now, personally, I have (thankfully, again) never encountered said dragons, altho I will confess, the people who live with/around me probably have (blush blush). And I agree that cabin fever is no excuse. I am trying to own my crappy attitude and not kick it away, as if to say, "How did THAT get in here?" and "No, it doesn't belong to ME, thank you for asking…"

But alas! The Holy Spirit of the Sovereign Living God has a flashlight in His pocket that is a little bright for fudging… and my fingerprints glow in the dark in neon colors even without it. So when He turns it on… let's just say, I have nowhere to run.

And I am tired. Bone weary, cranky, I-don't-want-to-thumb-in-the-mouth tired.

And the afore-mentioned HSOTLG crosses His arms and taps His foot a little…can the Holy Spirit tap His foot? OF course! He's God - He can do anything! So crabby me sits - pouting and shamefaced - before the tapping foot and finally get the guts to look up into His eyes, with tears oozing out of mine tho I am trying not to let them drip, and when my eyes finally blink the blurry stuff out of the way, I''m stunned.

Because the disappointed look in His eyes that I was soooo expecting, and steeling myself to accept - is nowhere to be found! Honest!!

All I can see there is Love. Capital L love.

And I feel myself being lifted to my feet, and in the tenderest of whispers, Love says," Let's try again now, shall We?"

Selah*

*In case the meaning of this Hebrew word has slipped your mind, "Selah" can mean anything from "How about that!" to "Sit quietly for a moment, and ponder that thought…"(I generally favor the latter.)

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'welcome!

I am a sinner saved by grace, a writer and a poet, an unabashedly Christian woman who became ill in 1988. I am sometimes housebound, sometimes wheelchair bound, always heaven bound. In other words, I am chronically ill, which is abbreviated CI in the text. The other abbreviation is AB for the able-bodied.

My poetry is on the right side of the blog and on the poetry page.

Leave a note if you wish - all who stumble onto this blog are welcomed and prayed for. If you have never met Him I invite you to ask Him to reveal Himself to you. He has known you and loved you since before the foundation of the world. For information on how to ask Him in, go to http://www.ccgreenvalleyorg/knowHim.aspx and you will find instructions. That site also contains teaching through the Bible to help you learn and grow - and my Pastor is a great teacher!

If suicide tempts you when things are bad and life seems too hard to go on, please go to the post for 10-22-10 and prayerfully read it. Please. You are not alone. You are loved, with an everlasting love so deep it is unfathomable. Don't give up!

I invite you to accompany me on my ordinary, everyday miraculous walk with my Lord, Jesus Christ.

[And please note: both prose and poetry are copywrite protected. You are welcome to share them, but please note the source! Thank you!]

afew poems (the rest are on the poetry page)

People of the Book

Grant me, O LORD,
A vibrant, shimmering faith
That dances before You
Like David.
Gird it with strength enough
To sacrifice
My heart's desire
Without a second's hesitation
As did Abraham.
And may I be blessed to know
That the Friendship of God
Lingers in my tent
Like Job.
Enable me, too
To bear the pain
Hear songs in the night
And whisper

Through the shredded fibers of my soul
"Though He slay me
Yet shall I trust Him."

-------------

The Grasshopper

The struggle to obey never ends.

It is so much easier

To sink into the softness of sin

Excusing myself

With the gossamer ruse

Of rationalization

Than to stand and resist

On the hot glare of the battlefield.

The shimmering sword

Placed at my disposal

Wears cobwebs round its hilt

And lies

Unused

In its scabbard

While I fall before forces

That would run

At the first glimpse

Of its blade.

Forgive me, Lord,

Forgive me.

Silent Night

Here, too,

The night is Silent,

Its peace

Settling round the shoulders of the darkness

As light as a snowflake

As warm as a shawl.

Twinkling lights dance on eaves and windows,

Doors open and shut quickly -

Just long enough

For loved ones to bustle in,

For snippets of music

And laughter

To escape into the frosty air.

I wonder

If the doors on heart-shaped stables

Will open

And shut

Just as quickly

Or if, here and there,

One will fling caution to the wind

And open wide enough

To let eternity enter in.

--------

Hark!

I find within a longing to return, crawl back

To youth-seen Christmas times -

To smell again the straw-filled manger scene

And hear the child-known lowing of the stable cow,

To have my eyes stretched wonder-wide

By magic lights and sparkling beams

From tinselled, star-crowned pines.

But more, I long for toddling, trusting faith

To sense the Spirit-hush of birthing Gift,

To hear the God-babe newborn cry,

To join the threadbare, trembling shepherds

Kneeling at His feet.

I want to lead the Magi in,

See their delighted faces glow

And watch tears stream down weathered cheeks

To fall on shimmering cloaks.

Oh! Let me bow beside them there,

Prostrate before this Promised King

And worship, filled with awe,

While angels sing.

------

The Heavenly Host

Luke 2:13

The angels did not know that you would die in such a way -

And so they sang when you were born.

They did not know

That You would not be King

This time.

They watched You grow,

Tender and whole

And holy:

They guarded and protected and expected

Men to recognize the Lord of all creation.

They didn’t know we wouldn’t -

And so they sang when You were born.

They did not know

That You would not be Ruler here -

They walked beside You, listened in

And marveled at Your words,

In awe of Ancient Mystery revealed.

In disbelief

They saw their hearts’ desire

Betrayed -

And found themselves

Unable

To protect their Prince.

They crowded ‘round Gethsemane

They wept to see Your pain.

Their bloodless hearts

Bled

Nonetheless -

And yearned

And ached

And tasted weakness.

They did not know -

And so they sang when You were born.

They did not know that You would truly die

Alone

Forsaken by Your Father.

They stood beside You tip-toed

Poised,

Straining to reach out,

To lift You down,

Ready to destroy

And slay

And rescue -

And wondered that the order never came.

Oh! They did not know!

And so they sang when You were born.

They did not know that cleansing Blood was being shed

For every foolish, wayward heart

That bleats with pain and fear.

The stars You made

Shone in their eyes

As Heaven’s gates stood open- armed

At last!

At last!

To welcome weary sinners Home:

For God so loved the world He sent His Son,

His only Son,

And so,

They sang when You were born.

------------------

Lying in a Manger

Here lies the little Newborn Lamb:

with tiny rosebud hands and feet

Of grasping fingers,

Curling toes

And silky smoothness...

Too soon,

Too soon

To wear the marks of rusting nails

To tear and rip

And bruise and bleed...

For you...

For me...

And here the sweet, soft, halo’d head:

Dressed in downy tendrils

Of wispy curls

Spun fine and soft

And silky...

Too soon,

Too soon

To wear the shame of crowning thorns

To mat and clot and -

Pierced with pain,

Be borne for you...

For me...

Here beats the tiny birdlike Heart:

Steady, strong and even,

So full of trust

and singing joy

and purpose...

Too soon,

Too soon

To be unveiled by Roman spear,

Torn with pain and yearning,

Burst by overfilling

With love for you...

For me....

-----------------------

The Birth

Luke 1 and 2

“You are to be wed,” my father beamed

-And my heart filled up with shy little dreams.

Joseph was an honorable man

With gentle eyes and a strong man’s hands.

We might be poor, but we’d never starve -

Not with his talent! For he could carve

Trees that made you feel the wind

And birds that could almost fly and sing...

I stole away for a thankful prayer

To the Holy One of Israel. There

The sky flashed with a blinding light

And an angel spoke to ease the fright

That filled me. Gleaming like the sun,

He calmly said that he had come

With the message that I would soon give birth

To Messiah, King of all the Earth!

“This can’t be real! Messiah? Me?

It was so confusing - “How can this be?

The wedding is still months away!

I’ve known no man...”

Then I heard him say,

“The Holy Spirit will come upon

You, and the Child will be His Son.

Immanuel will be His Name.”

And I would never be the same.

For then it all began: in sad,

Shamed disbelief, my family had

Received the news.

And Joseph? He,

Too kind a man to publicly

Disgrace me, needed time to think.

My battered faith began to sink

Beneath the scorn of wagging tongues.

Elizabeth’s house, in Jerusalem,

Provided respite. There, I found

His reassurance would abound:

Inside her womb, her baby leapt -

Dear Liza prayed. I bowed and wept

And praised my God for faith restored -

for renewed trust in the angel’s word.

Time flew by too fast! My home,

Once welcoming, now meant “alone” -

But home I went, still to be wed

It seemed: an awestruck Joseph said

He’d had a dream and now he knew

The things I’d told him were all true.

Then came the census! “What a time

To join a caravan, when I’m

So big and clumsy.” Yet still, I smiled

For very soon the Holy Child

Would burst into the world. And He

Was destined to be royalty!

Imagine then, my deep dismay

When we could find no place to stay -

We wound up in a cattle pen

with cows, a rooster, several hens

And one unfriendly donkey.

So,

The King of Israel was born

In a stable-cave that was kept warm

By livestock.

I could have wept with shame...

When all at once, the shepherds came -

Wide-eyed, breathless, filled with awe...

They crowded all around me, saw

My lovely, swaddled newborn Son.

Trembling, they told us why they’d come,

Told what the angel said.

My Lord

Sent comfort with the shepherds’ words,

Sent men to celebrate His Birth,

And filled the sky twixt heav’n and earth

With singing angels!

I looked down

And dreamt I saw a tiny crown

Of light rest on my little King...

Then I,

Too,

Heard the angels sing.

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Monday, November 14, 2016

Have you ever felt like ...

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