Discoveries

I have been getting blessed reading the Psalms and having Strong's Concordance at my fingertips.  Amazing how knowing the roots of words or multiple meanings of words can turn on a light in my heart.

Especially Psalm 139.

It was my mother's favorite Psalm.

v15 "I was made in secret and curiously wrought..."  curiously wrought means "embroidered in variegated colors."

What a glorious concept!

While God was in the process of creating you, individual you, He was hand-embroidering you with the colors He delighted in - your laugh was one color, your way of looking at things, the small wonders of His creation that delight your heart - all were individually chosen and placed just so, like the stars.  And - like the stars - He knows you by name, too.

v16 "Thine eyes did see my substance..."  As the tiniest of 2-celled embryos, God knew you.  He knew who you are, He knew what you would do with your life, every sin you would commit - and He loved you (the quintessential Proud Papa - that's Him!)

"...and in Thy book all were written..." ("members" is not in the original) In other words, I am a full person in God's eyes, all of my attributes are there, I am not just a clump of cells - and like my Father,  I am.  

"... which in continuance were fashioned..." - that is a potter's term meaning "to squeeze into shape."  The Potter was already fashioning my clay into a vessel and, yes, some days I can still feel the squeezing going on ! (incidentally, this is the same term used in Genesis when He formed Adam out of the ground - the only thing handmade of all creation, a hands-on creation by the King of the Universe - that's YOU!)

"...when as yet there were none of them." Before I was even conceived, He had thought of me, knew how He would shape me, what attributes He would give me, and had numbered every second of my life, every hair on my head.

v.17"How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me..." the word "precious" also means "costly" - Yes, my every breath, my every thought is precious to Him - but I also  cost Him His most precious possession, His only Son.  Knowing that more fully than words could ever express, He still chose for me to be created.  Before the foundation of the world He chose me - and was willing to pay the price for that  choice.

Grace, and grace alone.

I will probably never be able to completely comprehend what a privilege it is to be called by Him, to belong to Him, as long as I live on this earth.  In heaven, where I am promised the ability to know even as I am known; will I then understand the cost? It seems impossible to me -  no matter how long I meditate on the cost, I keep coming up with new aspects of the tally - His heart broken, His Son broken, His Son bled like the Passover lamb to "make Him kosher", to tolerate my sin, to equate each sin with the supreme agony of not just the cross, but every second lived confined to a human body - and that for eternity!!! To never again have the freedom of existing without boundaries, He will forever restrain Himself to exist within the parameters of His flesh.  So much, so very much He gave up.  When our Father tore the curtains in the Holy of Holies from the top down (tearing the clothes is a sign of deep mourning in the Jewish culture) He was revealing the broken Father heart that sacrificed everything He valued.  Everything! for me, for you.

Everything.

Grace alone.

Selah.

A word here or there....who knew?

Thngs have been difficult lately.

I am home from the hospital and my doctor is pleased with my progress, but also wants to change a few things.  And my wonderful CFIDS body is balking at the changes.

New medications play havoc with my body systems.  The pain keeps increasing and everything is flaring.  The blood thinner make something as simple as wearing rollers in my hair at night dangerous - I evidently laid on them wrong and have a huge tender bruise in the middle of the back of my head.  AARGH!

Everything seems to trigger more pain or discomfort - and changed regulations related to my pain medication make even procuring it difficult and a process taking days instead of simply dropping off an Rx and picking it up an hour later.  Oh no, too easy!

Poop!

And into this perfect storm of holy little me (NOT!) murmuring against  God came this little story, my version of it, courtesy of Zola Levitt ministries (zolalevitt.org):

A young woman home for vacation, complained to her mother about all the things gone wrong in her life - break ups with boyfriend, less than stellar grades, worn out tires, no money for gas etc etc.  

Her mother, meanwhile was making the daughter's favorite coffee cake, and stopped stirring for a second.  Then she said, "Do you want some of this cake?"

"Of course I do!!"

Mom handed her daughter a broken egg.  "There you go," she said, "Enjoy!"

The daughter looked suspiciously at her mom.  "What are you doing mom?:

"Nothing dear.  How about a good hefty teaspoon of Baking Soda?  Sound good?" she said with a grin.

"Mo-oooo-mmm!"  drawing out the one syllable as only kids can do.  "I get it. OK, what's the lesson?"

Smiling, she began to mix up the treat once more.  "This recipe is a lot like God's plan for our lives.  Some of the things that happen are unpalatable and make us want to spit it out.  We don't know what kind of recipe God is using - perhaps certain ingredients are difficult, the temperature seems too high, we feel like it's a pointless exercise and God has forgotten us.

"He hasn't.  

"When things seem to be out of kilter everywhere, God is changing the recipe and doing something in your life - and sometimes the necessary ingredients are distasteful or downright painful. The Lord and His Word are trustworthy.  His plan is not to make you happy.  His plan is to make you holy.  Always remember,  the ingredients that seem so distasteful as they occur will be worked together for good in your life, according to His will.

"Always."

------------

that little story came at a moment when my "recipe" was particularly distasteful - and several ingredients were choking me a bit on the way down.  It helped me to remember that I don't have a clue what recipe He is using - but I know my Maker, and I know I can trust Him.  Some day He will pull an amazing angel food cake (of course!) out of His celestial oven and it will be the most perfect choice of all the recipes in His book, chosen just for me.

On another note altogether, I found a free app on Amazon.com (just when I needed it - what a coincidence!) called "the touch bible".  The 99cent version has Strong's Concordance imbedded in it, and it has been blessing my sox clean off.  Instead of having to stop and go get the Strong's and look up the word, you just touch the word and - TA DAHHHHHH! - there it is!

I am reading the Psalms and would never have dreamt the difference a wee word means here or there.  When the Psalms say that God is my strong defense, I always thought of it as simply God's defense of me, a wall made of stone or some such.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh noooo!  The Word means an impregnable fortress, like a strong craggy cliff with a fierce wind blowing and thunder echoing off the walls.

wow!

What a difference a word makes!  

So I highly recommend this app to you - from Amazon.com, for a mere 99 cents!!  And if you are so wealthy you have some extra change, for about 4 or 5 more bucks you can get the same app loaded for bear, with commentaries galore and all sorts of doodads.  AND the best part is you don't even need a Kindle to get it - they have a free app so you can just use your browser and you've got it.  You can highlight verses or words, make notes or copy them to a clipboard and save them.  It's really helping my study time - I read so fast that a lot of times I don't savor and soak it up - and now I go word by word and there is so much descriptive oomph to the words that I "see" the Psalm unfolding before my eyes.  I hope you take advantage of this:

It's Exciting Stuff!

The Strong's is opening a storehouse of wonder for me, giving me "hind's feet in high places." 

Want to come along?