Hello again - I bet you thought I'd fallen off the edges of the earth!
Actually, I feel like I did.
I've been battling physically, with headaches, infections in bladder and kidney, more nausea from the antibiotic for the infections, and a root canal tomorrow.
Every time I have nausea and stomach pain I am terrified that I'm getting yet another bowel obstruction. Twice now I've been able to be treated conservatively, but how many times will that work before I have to have surgery? And my hearing loss is worse, which makes everybody groan when they have to repeat something forever and I still can't understand. It makes me feel sad that I irritate folks so much. I almost never talk on the phone. When I have to call a dr office (or 911) I ask my sister-in-law to do it cuz it's ssooooo hard to understand.
And (yes there's more, poor poor me) my cat jumped up on the bed and landed on my feet with claws out. I'm diabetic and it's really easy to lose a foot the longer you've had it. So I've been applying antibiotic and soaking my feet, hoping to stave it off. But the scratches are red and painful, and that doesn't bode well either.
But (don't you just love that word?) God is the one designing each of these circumstances. My daily TTW (thru the word) reading has taken me to Esther and Daniel lately. I can't read those books without realizing that God is in fingertip control of every moment. He is the God of Elijah, the God of Joshua who keeps the sun from going down, the God Who watches over Israel and neither slumbers nor sleeps.
The China Inland Mission (Hudson Taylor) has a plaque over the doorway that reads: The sun stood still. The iron did float. This God is our God. When I remember that, everything that bugs me is placed before God and His breath washes it away. He is in charge.
There are bonafide miracles happening in Israel - so much so that the Palestinian paper had a headline that read "We fire the missiles one way and their God changes the directions they are flying.
The IDF (Israeli Defense Force) has been astounded at the protection and occurrences on the battlefields. they have had over 500 bombs fired into their land, with only 1 fatality of the people. The IDF has lost, I think, 50.
A bomb with the trajectory to land on a skyscraper in Tel Aviv in the middle of a shopping mall, was fired a few days ago. The Iron Dome experts fired 3 times and missed it - which is highly unusual. But God (love that phrase!) had other plans.
There were only seconds to impact when they notified the emergency teams of mass casualties impending. the Iron Dome guys use all the atmospheric factors when firing (temp, wind speed, storms etc) And there was no wind that day.
Seconds from impact, a wind strong enough to blow the missile off course began. It didn't show up on radar. But it was strong enough to carry the missile from the heart of Tel Aviv out over the ocean, where it dropped harmlessly into the sea.
Another team of pilots was on a late afternoon bombing run, trying to knock out some of the missile firing spots (which are often, incidentally fired from hospitals and schools, because they know Israel will not bomb them - the palestinians feel no such constraint, and often aim for Israeli schools.) anyway, they were coming back to base facing the late afternoon sun. The radar of the palestinians didn't pick them up - they weren't shot at at all - and as they were flying into the sun, the sun stood still because of their speed. And they radioed one another that it was like the long day of Joshua. Not a plane was lost.
Another squad of the elite section of the IDF had a complicated operation to perform, it was supposed to be undercover of darkness, but to get the tactics lain out took longer than expected. Dawn caught them on a treeless flat expanse of ground - sitting ducks. "From nowhere" a thick cloud came over them, and they were able to move to the required positions without being seen. Once they were safe, the cloud disappeared.
The soldiers swear it was the Shekinah glory of Israel.
And another soldier was fired at point blank.
The bullet hit the grenade he carried - and it did not explode. It does have a big dent in it, tho.
there are so many stories coming from the men of the IDF! Our God lives, and Israel is His special spot in all the earth. It is, He said, the apple of His eye. And He is bringing so many of Israel to know Him - and the Muslims too. One of the Muslim converts is a pastor and preaches, he says, the whole Bible, and that means the Jewish people are God's people and he has been given a great love for the Israelis. As a result, the church has been bombed 4 times, and he's been shot more than once in assassination attempts.
And I complain about a headache.
Kind of opens my eyes a bit.
I am not deserving of any better than my King and my God experienced. He learned by the things He suffered. And He suffered waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I ever could. I can't imagine the suffering a pure white, totally innocent spirit could go thru when He became sin - I can't even imagine what that means - and for the first time in eternity, His Father turned away.
So, yeah, my illness and the complications wear on me. I get tired of being stuck in bed/in house and only being able to go out if someone else drives. I groan and moan and murmur in my heart - and then ask for forgiveness for my murmuring and lack of trust and the fear that I allow to conquer me.
And every time, He is faithful to give me His peace the second I ask for it (Why can't I remember to ask??) and assures me that He has my back. I am, literally, immortal until the day He decides to take me Home.
So if you are having a bad day, I want to assure you that you are not alone. A chronic illness didn't happen to us by chance - it is part of God's plan to teach us more about Him and how trustworthy and loving He is. Ask for His peace. Thank Him for His grace. Count your blessings.
And praise Him for suffering for us, to show us how to do it well.