I am prone to bowel obstructions (BI) due to several abdominal surgeries and the scar tissue they left behind.
So when my abdomen begins to hurt, that's the first thing that comes to mind. And last night, it hurt. Badly.
So then I take pain meds - which is another factor in BI's - it hurts, you take meds, it slows the bowel moving things along in the intestine, which makes you at high risk for a BI and causes so much pain you have to take the pain meds, which slows things down yada yada yada - the most vicious of cycles begins, again, to steal my sleep and increase my fear.
But then again, it knocks my soul to its knees and draws me to prayer.
And so, off and on, thru the night, I prayed. A lot.
Because today, no excuses, I HAD to drive a fur piece to Costco, one of those ginormous airplane-sized hangars stuffed to the gills with giant-sized packages of, well, just about anything. And on a Saturday, it was a mob scene, even bigger than the regular-sized daily mob scene. Even tho I was sleep-deprived, I had to go there. Had to.
Because I was completely out of a very necessary heart medication that can itself cause a heart attack if you stop it suddenly.
So I asked my Papa to please arrange for me to 1) find a parking space and 2) find one of those put-put thingys they have for those of us who are physically challenged to even contemplate walking the mile and a half way to the back of the said plane hangar to pick up my Rx.
Wellllll perhaps not a whole mile and a half. Maybe just the half. Altho, when I am walking it because all the put-puts are occupied, it sure feels like a mile and a half!
And both of those things that I prayed for? They are few and far far between on a Saturday.
So I pulled into the ginormous parking lot and just (mentally) shook my head in defeat. I gave up. Because cars were circling all around the parking lot like sharks, looking for a spot they could do battle over like a scene from Jaws.
So I turned into the handicapped section.
And there, smack dab in front of me was .....an empty parking space! Astonished, I told my Papa thank You. And kicked myself for being astonished.
He does that frequently when I really need it - and every time I am astonished. Why is that? He is the Creator of the universe and I don't think He can provide a puny parking space? In the handicapped section that never has an empty space? Close to the door?
Shame-faced, I am astonished every time.
So now I looked for a put-put - the place where they should be was, of course, empty. And on top of that, the other kind of shopping cart was waaaay far away.
Then one of the shopping-cart-rounder-uppers came trundling towards the warehouse and left a line of shopping carts right by the entrance - and they sort of sat there in a flock as people came up and grabbed one. And front and center, camouflaged by all of the shopping carts was.....
No, really Guess
You are correct.
Waiting. For. Me.
For me. The astonished one. The I-can't-even-muster-the-faith-to-believe-You-can-find-me-a-parking-space one.
The one to whom God says, oh so gently, "Don't you know by now I love you anyway?"
And then (oh, come on! You knew this wasn't over yet didn't you?)
My med wasn't there.
"Not for two more days" said the lady.
"How can that be? I'm not just low on this med - I'm out of it. None. Nada. Nothing. And it's a must-have medication."
So she sent me to the drop off window and said to talk to them.
And the nice wonderful go-the-extra-mile-lady at the window said, "We can do this. Come back in 30 minutes and it will be ready,."
So I came back in 25 minutes, 5 minutes early even - and there were no lines to wait for, nobody in front of me, step right up and there it was.
And my heart was face down on the floor worshipping the One Who holds my breath in His hands.
And I was astonished - and humbled and in awe and full of gratitude.
And, wonder of wonders of all wonders, He still loves me anyway.
We worship an Awesome God.