I've been up all night again tonight. After tossing and turning I finally got up to see how the new baby was doing http://www.earthcam.com/usa/southcarolina/greenville/ Even she is trying to doze - her mom comes over and kissed her forehead every once in awhile, it's so cute to see them. I never thought giraffes were that cute before - wow, was I wrong!
Last night was a horror. The nausea and vomiting have come back with a vengeance - i spent the night close to the toilet, nauseated to the point of salivation but it wouldn't come up.
At one point I tried to lie down for a bit.
Now, if you've seen this blog before you know about Katrina (her pic at top) She is a Wegie (pronounced Wee-gee) A Norwegian Forest Cat of large proportions - they run 20 to 25 lbs. She is around 20, I've had her since she was a kitten and she has never gotten past the idea that I wanted to kill her. Her flight from Virginia was delayed and she stayed in Atlanta for almost 6 hrs before flying on to me in Nevada. From the first, she avoided me. Came out of the carrier and crawled under the bed - and stayed there for 3 months. I knew she was eating because the food disappeared and the litter box had been used.
After she came out into the world, you could talk to her if you were sitting and she was an inch beyond your farthest reach. If you stood up, she was back under the bed. I still can't catch her which makes vet visits a nightmare, and she despises grooming, so she gets mats and the groomer thinks I neglect her. Of course, she sits perfectly still for the groomer, purrs and cooperates so they don't believe me when I tell them that just trimming her nails is an ordeal because she hates to have her paws touched!
I would complain about her to God, and one day out of the blue He said to me, "She's just like you."
He said" You too hold me at arms length, and are leery of sitting with me in the silence for even a little while. When you have something I know is bad for you in your mouth you run away instead of listening to my prompting to come to me and deal with it. She's just like you."
Well, that made me sit up and take notice.
The one thing that comforted me was that at least she follows me around from one room to another, and has to be in my presence throughout the day. I surely hope that that is how my walk with Him goes.
Now back to Barf, the sequel:
I laid down on the bed on my left side, my left arm stretched out a little, palm up , fingers slightly cupped. I was exhausted and nauseated and on top of everything else I had one of my nuclear strength headaches. I closed my eyes.
All of a sudden I felt the bed move.
Katrina had come up on the bed - and she curled up next to me, leaning against my cupped fingers.
And then, I felt her place her huge, soft furry paw-that-she-hates-to-have-touched gently in the palm of my hand - and leave it there.
Then the tears came.
Partly because that was exceptional behavior from my standoffish cat - but every once in awhile she will do something that will just melt my heart.
And also because I knew God was saying to me, "I love you. I am right here, by your side - and I am using Katrina to show you some tenderness tonight."
And it was enough.
Under neath are the Everlasting Arms.